a high art. Sometimes funny, sometimes exhausting, these people have the
ability to find a problem just about anywhere. Complaining is simply the ability to
see what’s not working, in one’s own life or in the external world, and it can be
quite useful if followed to its natural conclusion — finding a solution and applying
it. However, many of us don’t get that far, and we find that complaining has
become an end in itself. In small doses, this is not a big problem, but if
complaining has become a huge part of who we are perhaps it may be time to
make a major calibration at how we are spend our energy.
Complaining is a person’s way of acknowledging that they are not happy with the
way things are. In a metaphorical way, when we complain or criticize, we are
tearing down an undesirable structure in order to make room for something new.
But if all we do is tear down, never finding the creative energy required to create
something new, we are not fulfilling the process. In fact, we are at risk for
becoming a stagnant and destructive force in our own lives and in the lives of the
people we love. Transforming complaining into something useful is a two-step
process that begins with turning to our critical self to look at things we can
change, then taking positive action.
When we find our thoughts complaining, we know we are being constrictive.
STOP, acknowledge, and reframe that thought. Remember your commitment to
making some changes. Then change your thought! It really is that simple.